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[14 May 2008|11:15pm] |
"Youre a fake friend, bake me a poison cake .."
hahaha, you say it best!
my birthdays coming up, i want that poison cake bitch!!
oh wait, but you scheduled a stupid fucking show on my birthday
whatever, i forgot, youre a fake friend.
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[07 Dec 2007|01:17am] |
I am in love with my friend, and his son.
They are so beautiful together.
I wish he wasnt going to marry his childs whore of a mother next year .. She just had her fourth child (my friends son, Camron was her third child) from some fourth guy. Each child has a different father. And yet, he is still going to marry her .. i wish i could change his mind and save his life
I love them both so much.
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[04 Dec 2007|07:54pm] |
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Why/how do i always fuck things up?? Everything was fucking sick! He was so into me and apparently "in love" with me, and i was all standoffish, and i had him in my hands hahaha, not that i wanted it that way. But then i told him to cool it alittle, and now he wont talk to me! I havent talked to him since sunday night, it is now tuesday .. And im going INSANE!! Why did the tables have to turn, and why is this the way things work, ughhh. Im like spazzing out, i miss him so much. Fuuuck.
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[02 Dec 2007|02:25am] |
This kid says hes in love with me ..
I mean, hes always smiling and cant keep his eyes off me, and always wants to hold my hand and look into my eyes .. i mean, its just weird. Its really comfortable though, but i mean i guess im like that with my good friends. Ive only been talking to him for about a week? also, and this is the 3rd night in a row weve hungout [thats it] and i just .. he doesnt know anything about me! Im a fucking mess, im stupid, im still in love with my ex, i like to be a child and dance like a retard, I LIKE ALCOHOL .. FUCKING DEAL WITH IT! Jesus, idk what to think .. its making me mad. Maybe its lust for him .. but im not some big number 1 stunna .. i mean cmon.
Ugh. Im tired, im cold, im starving, and i have a horrible headache. On top of that i have a boy texting me non stop!!! about me and shit and im way over my phone bill & i still have another week of it and im getting fucking pissed and idk, fucking .. ugh.
I just want sal back. Ill deal with a mediocre life, i just dont wanna be angry
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[30 Nov 2007|02:21am] |
So ive been talking to this kid that is just .. fucking delicious! And we finally hungout tonight. And he totally bombed on my lj! I was like .. uht uhn honey, dont go there
hahaha, wow. i fucken adore this fine man
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[27 Nov 2007|02:58pm] |
So... i kinda wish my job wouldnt dick me around for 3 weeks before actually putting me on the schedule. Oh wait, they just did. Interview 2 weeks ago, hired last week, was supposed to get a call yesterday too to get my schedule. All of this, becuase of ME calling THEM at least 5 times a day. No joke. They are fucking retarded, and so mean on the phone. Ugh. Fuck these women, im only waiting around for this job because i want my 30% discount on bras and shit. I only buy my underwear at Victorias Secret, so .. kinda works out. But now .. im just waiting around for them to have an open day for me to come in and watch movies(wtf, ill come in today!), and decide/remember to call my ass back. UGH!
Kinda sucks being broke for 3 months straight ..
Oh, and i got these new adorable shoes for work
and they ripped my heels open walking around
school today! So after class i walked back
around school and to the parking lot barefoot
:[
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[24 Nov 2007|02:14am] |
I think i finally found a ... good guy. He apparently really likes me, for all the right reasons, and respects me, and is so fucking nice to his mom. Idk, i kinda like this other guy, but then this happened..
If i could chose, id take my ex back hah.
All this new, getting to know someone kinda sucks
I like comfort, and i know he will make me happy.
But this guy .. im not so sure, he seems.. amazing.
Ill have to kick myself and not hold back, see if it works. Who knows
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[22 Nov 2007|06:26pm] |
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People say my brain is infected with devils
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[21 Nov 2007|07:27pm] |
i hear drums
african music, much like jumanji
some people could get my respect again ..
if they shot themselves in the head.
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| hahaha<3 |
[20 Nov 2007|03:16pm] |
I'm going to Africa
Yes, Ma'am, I'm a brick
Was President Lincoln ok?
Mitten.
There's a dog in the vent
Chicken necks?
I pick Ken Griffey Junior
I fell out two times
I'm pedalling backwards
This snowflake tastes like fishsticks
We're a totem pole
Dying tickles
I heard a Frankenstein lives there
She's touching my special area
Go banana!
Ralphie, Get off the stage Sweetheart
Oh say can you rock!?
I'm a pop sensation!
I'm a pop sensation!
Salmon gutter!?
I'm Idaho
You smell like dead bunnies
That's where I saw the leprachaun
Fun toys are fun.
Chocolate microscopes
You're not it
That is so nineteen-ninety-one
I bit my tongue!
Ralphie, Get off the stage sweetheart
Oh say can you rock!?
I'm a pop sensation!
I'm a pop sensation!
Yvan eht Nioj
Yvan eht Nioj
Yvan eht Nioj
Yvan eht Nioj
Yvan eht Nioj
Yvan eht Nioj
Yvan eht Nioj
Yvan eht Nioj
My sash says Ultraman!
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[18 Nov 2007|02:44pm] |
and i will wait right here with my arms by my side
until i can have back what i loved before.
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[17 Nov 2007|08:35pm] |
dont stop push it now
and i will give it all to you
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[17 Nov 2007|02:04am] |
"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
I love When Harry Met Sally. I watched it tonight, right after Titanic. Good chick night, by myself curled up under the blankets on the couch, with my ice cream (i know im crazy) and chocolate chip cookies, crying like a baby.. haha. I needed that time to myself, even though i have it everyday, it was a nice time.
Why am i so pathetic.
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[16 Nov 2007|03:58pm] |
There is no greater love
Than what I feel for you
No sweeter song, no heart so true
There is no greater thrill
Than what you bring to me
No sweeter song
Than what you sing, sing to me
You're the sweetest thing
I have ever known
And to think that you are were mine alone
So like the dumbass i am, i waited until the 4th week into registering for spring semester classes, and all 4 of my sciences are FULL! So now im doing this other program through capital health so i can get my nursing degree/license faster. But i have to take GYM CLASS! Come onnn! So right now my schedule is as follows:
Developmental Psych: T R - 9am - 10:15am (same time i have psych 101 now hah)
English Comp 2: T R - 1:25pm - 2:40pm
Health/Fit Lecture: T - 7:05pm - 7:55pm
Health/Fit Active: T - 8pm - 9:45pm
Fucken blows man. Crash course in health for 3 straight hours. Ugh! Whatever, im into psych. I wanted to be a psychiatrist before i wanted to be a nurse. I just hope that they pick me off the waiting list for Anatomy & Pshysiology 2, MicroBiology, or at least Chemistry .. Ugh. This is so frustrating. But i got a compliment on my eyes again today :] It kinda made my day .. sad, huh?
Im so tired, i sleep so much but it still seems like nothing. Im so screwed up.
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| i see your true colors shining through |
[16 Nov 2007|12:12am] |
i see your true colors, and thats why i love you
so dont be afraid to let it show
ive had several guys try to get a date with me, something, anything. they were really nice guys too, the kind that dont really get girlfriends, which im not really into anyway.. but like, i didnt want anything to do with it. its not even fun playing the game, i dont like the attention. i dont want to let anyone in, i dont want to try again, or anymore. i just want sal back. im such a fucking mess when it comes to all this shit, everything reminds me of him, i want to feel comfortable again. i want to be happy again, where nothing could go wrong. it hurts
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[12 Nov 2007|05:16pm] |
it was in a foreign hotel's bathtub I baptized myself in change.
and one by one I drowned all of the people I had been.
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| Ripping my hair out |
[12 Nov 2007|04:34pm] |
How is it my fault that kids, that i dont even know, make their own decision to drive drunk, and now are paralyzed???? How is that my fault! My parents bitch at me and threaten me and talk to me like a peice of shit like everything thats wrong in the world is my fault! Im such a good kid too, i dont deserve this. My dads bestfriends daughter recently got into a horrible car accident down the street from us .. her car flipped and smashed and .. i was there and you wouldnt even THINK about the possibility of her surviving. She told the cops and her dad and everyone that a car cut her off and she swerved and since it had rained, it was worse. WELL! I found out from my friends who were at the party with her that she was going home from, that she was robotripping and taking all kinds of drugs, and DECIDED TO RACE some kid. But no, everything thinks shes a good kid and some asshole is the reason for her fucked up scarred face and her smushed ankle and all that other shit that happened to her. How is that fair? Ive never touched a drug in my life, i rarely take chances, i think about the consequences, and i help my fucked up friends get back on track in their fucking lives, but i get the shit end of everything.
My dad thinks he knows me so well. Fucken prick. School is stressful enough, with all this medicine and doctors bullshit i have to do BY MYSELF FOR ONCE, along with still being in love with my ex who NOW HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND HE FUCKS and everyone being on my ass every second they get for me to get a goddamn job. I KNOW I NEED TO GET A JOB, NO I AM NOT A PROCRASTINATOR, IM FUCKING STRESSED OUT AND I DONT NEED TO BE TOLD THAT EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT. NO, IM SORRY YOURE WRONG, I DID NOT BOMB THE WORLD TRADE CENTERS, I DID NOT INVENT AIDS, I DONT THINK FOR ALL THESE SKIIED UP KIDS TO STEAL CARS AND SHOOT PEOPLE! I AM MY OWN PERSON TRYING TO SURVIVE YOURE FUCKING WRATH AND NOT KILL MYSELF, KINDA LIKE I HAVE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS! IM ON THE BRINK OF FUCKING INSANITY, SO BACK THE FUCK DOWN!!!
and, i think i blew my ears out.
super.
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